"Sasa ni lunchi time..." This was the song playing at around 12.55 on Classic 105,anyone born in the 80s knows it(sorry playstation generation,u have nothing on us 80s babies). Personally I detest Classic but I have no choice but to listen to it since my colleague plays her radio on speakerfone in the office. Anywho,back to my story, due to the rising 'bei ya mafuta',most kenyans cannot afford lunch(like there's any relation). it's for this reason i found myself looking for the cheapest kibanda in town,uptown for that matter, to have lunch(the irony,right?). My escapades took me to an establishment in Caxton Hse on Standard Street. Never mind that to get to it you have to cris cross the confusing hallways and alleys in the building, I was determined to have my meal. I finally got to my destination and sat to order my meal. A nice plate of chapo ndengu would do,check my pockets to see if i have the required 70 bob to pay for it lest am told to 'chonga viazi'. My food arrives and am excited to dig in. Then what happened after this made me take a long hard look at kenyans behaviour at eateries. What ticked me off first was the waitress standing next to the table as if rushing me to be done with my meal. I have heard that most restaurants(read 5 star establishments) usually give you subtle hints to be done with your meal and be on your way so that they can honour the patrons with reservations. This was just ridiculous. I was tempted to shout at her "wacha kusimama hapa unaninyonya damu". For those who dont understand this(again playstation age,this is sadly in reference to you) when we were kids you would tell someone who was standing to sit coz they were "sucking" your blood.
A few minutes later, two gentlemen walk in and sit. They ask the waiter what's on the menu.They decide on the meal and then they go further to ask him "hii tutashiba kweli". Am sure that by the time you entered the restaurant you had made up your mind that you would be satisfied thats why you chose to come to the restaurant. Anywho, something else that baffled me but I have seen in many kenyans, one gentleman decides to point into my food and tells the waiter "niletee kama hii". The audacity of this gentleman,what do you think you are doing. This is my food,who gave you the right.
By the time i leave the restaurant(read kibanda) I wander why I never went to Kosewe's to have myself a big plate of fish and ugali,seems to be the same price anyway. I finally ask the waiter why the chapo was cold despite them having a microwave and promptly responds "boss unajua bei ya mafuta imepanda..." I leave it at that as I find my way out of that maze of a building known as Caxton Hse.
'Based on a true story. Some scenes may have been edited to fit the producers storyline. No animals were harmed in the making of this production,even the fish in the writers imagination'
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