Satisfying Single-hood: The Truth about Single-hood

Single-hood is a gift. Anything from the Father is good. Therefore, single-hood is a good gift from the Father of lights. He is the only one who can give good gifts. I know many people have wrestled with this concept, myself included. How can being lonely when everyone else is in a relationship be a gift? Well, in light of the kind of energy and sacrifice it takes to sustain a relationship and by extension , a marriage, believe me single-hood is a huge present from someone who truly loves you. Don't get me wrong marriage is also a beautiful thing. I don't intend to downplay its importance. However, Paul says that whoever is single, let them remain single.It will save them a lot of trouble.

Being single gives you the opportunity to pursue a lot of things that you wouldn't be able to do if you were in a relationship. It's easier for a single guy to pack his bags and leave for an undisclosed location than it is for his counterpart in a relationship. The guy with a chic would have to consider the time that he will be spending away from his significant other. Worst still if he is married, he isn't going anywhere without his wife signing off on it.

I once saw a post on Facebook. It was two parallel pictures that looked the same yet had a fundamental difference. The first had a guy with a chic, empty wallet and one satisfied chic. The next had guy without a chic, still an empty wallet but one pimped up car. Well the analogy is messed up but you get the picture. Maintaining a relationship can be an expensive affair sometimes. You don't ALWAYS get to do what you want with your money and other resources. You always have to wager between that nice suit you want to buy or giving your chic cash to go to the salon (for those guys who see nothing wrong with that). Going on holiday to coasto or dinner date with the Ms. It more often than not comes do what you would like to do vs what you need to do.

Now this is in no way saying that being in a relationship is a drag. Far from it. It's a beautiful thing. If it weren't the number of people who desire to be in one would be far much less than it is currently.  Sometimes the beauty of being in a relationship might overwhelm a single person. You might feel the pressure around you when everyone you know is either in a relationship or getting married. You might even feel more pressured when couples ask you when you are getting into one or what you are waiting for. I have experienced all this and believe me when I tell you it ain't fun. It can take you to the points of jealousy when you see the least likely people hooking up with someone.

But there's good news. Single-hood is the normal. Everyone is born single. So this shouldn't cause us to fret. We are normal when we are single. Its the original state.Another thing worth noting and probably the most important bit is that you aren't alone. You might feel lonely but you are never alone. There's a Friend who sticks closer than a brother and He knows what you are going through. In fact He's the one who gave you that gift. When someone gives you a present, its usually for a purpose. If the "gifter" saw you misuse his gift he would be disappointed and regret even giving it to you in the first place. Similarly if someone gave you a present that took a lot of thought and energy and all you did was say "wow, this present is nice, but what I really want is that one" they would be crushed. It means you don't value the present at all.

Single-hood is for a period, a season. For those who are destined for marriage, a time will come when you will leave it and head toward marriage, In the same way, when a child is young he outgrows certain toys and starts looking forward to other. Eventually when he grows to be a man, he starts to play with "big boy toys", Ducatis and BMWs as it were. What I think we should consider in our single phase is how to make the best of it. Really use it to full potential. In so doing that we should always aim to please God in our single lives and not live abhorrently thinking that we will live a satisfying life when when we get into a relationship. 

Introducing...Satisfying Singlehood

I haven't written in a while.I mean i haven't done prose in a long time. I am a poet/spoken word artiste too, and apart from playing with similes and rhyme schemes I can't remember the last time I did this. This is not an excuse to give you have baked goods. That having been said, I have decided to get back on the horse and start writing, again.

I have been on a long road of finding my purpose in life. There is a funny saying I heard someone mention. "If a Toyota wants to know why it was made it can't go to D.T Dobie. It has to go to Toyota Kenya". Similarly I'm on a path to find out my purpose and the first place I can think to look is the One who made me. My Creator. My Father. My God.

I can't say I have reached the end of my journey. I'm still pursuing my purpose. So I have to say off the cuff that the stuff I share in my subsequent posts are purely based on personal experience and I'm picking up as I go along. So feel free to interject. It's a welcome reaction. In fact it's the expected reaction.

I once attended a conference called Shift and someone said if you are unclear about the next step God is calling you to, follow the last command He gave you. For a long time now I have been feeling as though I cant hear God's next command, especially with regard to my purpose. This has led me to take a step back and examine what His last command was. It's found in a number of verses but most predominantly in 1 Thessalonians 4:3,7. Click here to read the text

I should probably mention that I am a single guy in my mid 20s. This very fact qualifies me to be up against some really highly stacked odds as far as holiness & purity are concerned. And this is the area that my posts will be focused on. How to honor God in my single-hood, with my singleness as I pursue holiness and purity.

A friend of mine called Ernest when quoting a certain preacher said "when you pursue purity, purpose will haunt you." That's exactly what I intend to do. Pursue purity and holiness, and in the process share it with the people who will read these posts. Like I said, I'm no expert. I haven't made it yet. So this is a pretty raw account of a journey to discovering self. And I'm quite excited about it.